I Wrote This While Pissed (Part 1 of 3)
So like, I got pissed off about some Internet racist micro-agression and I ended up writing this sht long post. I am kind of embarrassed that I even wrote that while pissed off…. but a bunch of POC’s and white people told me that they learned something or other from this post… so I figure I will just throw it up here as a reference point to what it looks like when I am fcking pissed.
At least it shows that just cause someone is emotional, does not mean they can not also be rational at the same time. So I want to throw this up here with the specific names and communities redacted, and it will be heavily edited (edits will be in bold) so that instead of reflecting this one incident, it can be used to generalize about incidents similar to these, and show they can damage the psyche of even the most hard nosed minorities.
A little background to this is… There was this community gathering with a select group of speakers… one of them was black. Keeping in mind this community had nothing to do with making judgement on “the black” community as a whole….upon the question and answer round, some white woman decided to ask the question, “What are blacks going to do about black on black crime?”…. to the only black person on the panel. AS if you know, she is like the emperor of all black people and is obligate at any moment in time to speak on behalf “the black community.” She sort of just side stepped the odd racist question. However, another member of the audience, who is also a black female, decided to get up later and express her rage at the white person who decided to propagate a racist trope – one that gets black people killed by cops. She ended up breaking down into tears.
During her breakdown, a white male speaker decided to get up and walk out the room because her emotions, he said, were totally uncalled for – so he walked out in protest. He wrote on his twitter how this black person response was way over the top. A white female who was also in the room, responded to his twitter, saying that she felt the black persons response was just fine. He said that, he then attempted to pull the black female out of the audience to instruct her to calm down, that no one is racist there – she did not take too kindly to that. It is because of this, this white guy then decided to make a huge blog post deciding to give advice to the black community about how they should handle racism.
He expressed his distaste for black anger, expressed his sympathy for what he assumed “innocent” white woman, and said that there must of been a better way for the black woman to do it – since she was way too irrational. This guy, turned out, has a huge following within the community he was writing to, so his blog post blew up. People pointed out to him that he should not tone troll minorities, and that his unhealthy obsession with defending the white woman reflected an attitude that can be construed as racist. After all, if your reaction to a racist event is to not talk about racism.. but instead talk about how you feel so bad for whites being accused of racism… well you got a fcking problem bro!
With that intro… here we go:
As a person of color who has to constantly deal with this type of rhetoric from well meaning white liberal allies… I am always shocked, even though I know it is terribly predictable, by the amount of ignorance coming from privileged people who seek to “instruct” minorities on proper ways to behave. It really is disturbing, this sht is not even about ____ [Name redacted but henceforth referred to as white boy 1 – WB1. The guy in the intro] … it is about white privilege in general. His response is sooooooooooo cliche to every fcking person of color, in that it functions in a racist way. His response is not unique, it is the same racist rhetoric we are constantly barraged with everyday. In fact, he ain’t even the only one.. if you follow ____ [name redacted, but henceforth referred to as awesome mofo – AM. Who is a POC who is awesomely lucid when he talks about racism] on twitter, you can see how even _____ [name redacted but henceforth referred to as clueless white boy 2 – CWB2. Who is another prominent figure in that community] felt obligated to share his “enlightened” opinion on how to proceed. The conversation that I saw was not only condescending, passive aggressive, and stupid, but also reveal that yes, even people on ___ [Comunity redacted] like [CWB2] should STFU once in a while and understand that if your ignorant about a subject – do not argue your fcking case like you understand it. Fck [WB2], Fck [CWB2], and fck any white privileged dck who want to come and tell me or anyone how to act. (I recall that other arse from ____ [some blog] doing something similar – oh and his ignorant arse is now [gone]… good riddance. He had nothing of substance to say when he tone policed either.. jerk)
Man, I live through this sht… and I will tell any white person right up front any time we begin a conversation about race, that they can never say anything, anything that I have not heard before. [This is a bit hyperbolic, but in my experience, I actually have never had a white person talk about racism and say anything that I did not already know. Maybe I will come across on enlightened white person one day, so far… not yet] Therefore their advice is not only unwarranted but useless. Not only that, I then have to explain to ignorant white folk how an amalgamation of these “bits of casual advice” over a lifetime of dealing with racism… is actually just a racist microagression. So when I reject that advice based on their ignorance, most then write entire treatise trying to defend themselves… and as “white allies” they somehow think I am obligated to go over ignorant BS everyday to “teach the white man how to be not racist.” When they are too lazy to pick up a fcking book and read for themselves about racism – which in about 5 fcking minutes would demolish any god damn “argument” they put up. What a waste of fcking space. Ignorant white folk, always stuck in racism 101…
Probably the only reason I stick around on [some blog community] is because I found a few white folk here… who actually fcking get it – well not all of it, but get it to a degree where I do not feel the need to have to educate anyone on any racism 101 BS.
I just want to say this is just a trend to a larger problem, and it is tiring… How many hours do I have to spend educating some white privileged buffoon, only to have another one come in 5 minutes later and almost demand I educate him as well on the same exact sht? I mean, the responses are always the same cliche BS… and even if by some luck I manage to get someone to turn around… that don’t mean sht to a lot of white folk. All they seem to care about is making themselves be less racist… not actually concerned about ending racism by actually doing something about it. Most white folk only enter the issue when tone policing… then they leave, no matter if they were finally convinced that they are wrong, or ignorantly insisted they are right till the end… they always leave and then never actually do anything about it. So [AM] was right… man don’t give me that BS that you care.. cause a lot of you don’t and that shows through actions.
Let me explain this one, cause this is a stumbling block for a lot of white folk. Most white folk “care” as much about racism as I, and most of us “care about starving children in Africa.” This is a normal everyday human flaw. We care about things that effect us, and hit home with us, more than we care about things that do not effect us and are far away.
I “care” about starving children in Africa as in… if told about the issue I say it is wrong, then I go spend absurd amounts of money on food and throw half of it out. I just go about my day, making no effort whatsoever to help starving children. I feel sorry for them, I think it is a shame, I think they deserve help… and I do nothing about it. Even when I am part of a system that works to oppress people like that. [I actually guilted the fck out of myself and like started to eat every fcking thing off my plate since then! Thinking about donating to some world hunger cause but sht son.. I am fcking broke as fck]
Most people are exactly like this, otherwise there would be more Aid going to solve the world hunger problem. So when anyone says they “care” about world hunger…. it is this shallow from of caring. A caring that is only committed to words, and not actions – a caring that absolutely does nothing for people who are starving but makes us feel like we are “oh so good people cause we care.”
Note* Before someone comes with with the silly point of “that means we can’t talk about any issue then?” No, it does not mean that. It means that, as you will read below, because of the nature of things this kind of apathy is, terribly normal – and no one can truly care about all causes… which is why you have to pick the ones you care most about. This would suggest that, if you want to talk about an issue you are not effected by directly, and are not involved in, in some way shape of form… then you probably got no business “giving instructions or advice” the ones who actually care. You should instead ask questions and attempt to educate yourself, rather than argue any point of give advice.
Basically…. lots of white privileged people pay lip-service to being anti-racist but when asked to commit any action.. most of them not only decline, but out of ignorance, like [WB1] and [CWB2], usually function in a racist manner. The only ones who are actually qualified to say they care about racism are the ones effected by it, and the ones working in some fashion to end it. All the rest… “care” in a sense that is not practical to solving the problem.
Now, this is not a crime… and, even though it is fairly normal, that is not to say it is not an issue either. Apathy like this is an issue, it is an issue the people in the movement have to fight against. They have to make people care more than they do, care enough to commit to some action, no matter how small. People are also “too busy to care” and that is not a crime either, but it is an issue that needs attention. This stuff is relatively OK, I am ok with a white person fighting for a social issue that hits close to home… good for that person.. what I do not care for is people insisting they care, when really…. they don’t care all that much. Then what really pisses me off is how “offended” they get at a minority who rejects their shallow opinions… and how they try to victimize themselves by saying “I was your ally!” and such nonsense. That is crap.
The degree in which you are measured to care about an issue, the degree in which you gain credibility as an ally, is not through fiat or announcement.. it is seen through what you do. Those who spend no time educating themselves about an issue before they speak about it and hurt people; those who commit to no action ending a social issue, those who frequently land on the side of “telling a minority how to act” in unsolicited advice…. those people who say they “care”…. well that, that is BS. Take that sht out of here. I tire of it. When you start railroading people who are doing something about it, when you are constantly in the way of minorities speaking out… then, no you don’t fcking care. Whatever your intentions are, whatever warm fuzzy feeling you might want to pull out a conversation, or whatever intellectual point you want to raise out of curiosity about issues that actually hurt people…. that does not count as caring, so fck off.
With that… Lets look at [WB1 – White Boy One]‘s and [CWB2 – Clueless White Boy Two]‘s “actions”…
1) [WB1] and [CWB2] almost never talks about racism, and are, to my knowledge, not involved in any anti-racist movement in any meaningful way. (This shows how much they care about it) This means neither of them has credibility if any of them claim they “care about racism.” No one is inclined to believe that sht, and no the benefit of the doubt is not a given.
2) The one time I see [WB1] and [CWB2] talk about racism… they are either trying to tell a minority “you are doing it wrong” ([WB1]) or trying to argue some stupid insipid intellectual point ([CWB2]). Aint that funny… they never talk about racism, and when they finally do, instead of talking about how bad and racist that question was, instead of educating people why this question is racist, instead of using the minorities anger to show how deeply racism effects us emotionally… they argue that minorities need to behave in this “balanced” way when confronting racism. [WB1] insisting he knows better if someone is acting racist with intent, and [CWB2] insisting that he does not berate people in the same fashion… what fcking laughable points.
That speaks… and it speaks of them not as allies, but as fools. White privileged fools who need to STFU. Now, the exchange with [AM] and [CWB2] was not that long, so I am done with [CWB2]… let me dig in deeper with [WB1].
3) [WB1] said he walked out because he did not like the tone of what that POC was saying in her defense against racism. WOW. So you never talk about racism, and when you get the opportunity to learn something from someone who suffers from it you “walk out” in protest of the tone? Then you berate the person for not having a more sympathetic reaction to white racism? You go off the walls, writing pages and pages of intellectual racist garbage practically defending the “right” of white people to say whatever racist garbage they want, while telling minorities that they are only allowed to use their anger about racism in a specific way (a way you get to define as “productive”, and a way where that productivity centers the conversations primary objective on making the white person less racist (why should that be?).. instead of just… talking about how bad racism is and how it effects minorities). FFS…
This guy by fcking definition of anti-racist ally… just functioned in a way that would categorize him not as one, but also probably acting like a racist himself. He “exited the room in protest?” Are you fcking serious? Someone should tell him that there is this racism against strong black women, and that type of racist bias.. tends to make lots of white men not only not listen to strong black women, but also try to make them out of “irrational” or “berating”.. and guess what this mther fcker just did? If that is not a racist microagression, and no one better fcking tell me any different, then I don’t know what is.
[I feel like I did not explain why his defense of the white woman and his highly emotional reaction towards the black woman, who was fed up with racism, is a racist reaction. Since then, I read opinions on this event by black activists and they explained it in a much better fashion. The reasoning was as follows:
There is this racist/sexist trope around white femininity, such that, white women are the symbols of innocence, and they need to be guarded by men. These men, get this “white night” syndrome and jump to the defense of all white women – they see their “purity” as an ideal to be defended. Meanwhile, black femininity is often viewed in public as “primitive” or “savage.” Many strong black women face sexist and racist notions that make both black and white men see the black femininity as something that needs to be tamed. With that context, and WB1’s reaction’s are in fact really racist.
He white knighted the thing trying to make it look as if the black woman needed to be reigned in, all the while making it look like the white woman was this delicate flower that needed to be protected from this aggressive black woman. As such, this was a picture perfect example of white racist micro aggression.]
I have like loads more to say…. but… whatever, I got more sht to do in meatspace rather than specifically outline how lots of white liberals betray minorities at every turn. I am willing to give [CWB2] more benefit of the doubt.. though.. [WB1] I am done with, his actions speak loud and clear to me. [CWB2]… he was not that terrible, but his conversation with [AM] on twitter set my “holy sht ignorant white person should STFU” vibe… And since this vibe is usually correct, well.. I can hope, but I have lots of doubts on this one.
Anyway… so I wrote that whole long thing out when I got pissed off about this sht. I kind of felt like I was violated too when this white guy did this “tone policing” thing to this other minority – and I think that is where the anger came from.
Now, shortly after I wrote that post.. White Boy One was getting a sht tone of back lash from minorities, while being supported by racist white people for “doing the right thing.” As such, he posted on his blog again attempting to defend himself and teach minorities how to handle racism – because apparently he has so much experience with it (excuse me while I throw up). This guy then writes, as I predicted, a like 8000 word treatise about how he was right, and how incredibly hurtful and wrong it is for black people and feminists to call him a racist. At that point.. I fcking blew a gasket… I decided to write another post, and that will be in part 2, posted tomorrow, and in part 3 I will reveal the names and community where this took place.